Mario Ice Capades

Jason Bateman: Oh, I'm all keyed up. I need a source, somewhere to let it all out.

Alyssa Milano: You need a paramedic. I can't believe it, I'm here with the power [unintelligible].

Jason Bateman: I don't believe it!

Alyssa Milano: What is it?

Jason Bateman: Nintendo!

Girl: You want to play?

Jason Bateman: I'd love to play, thank you very much. Look! Nintendo! Don't tell me. First you've never been to the Ice Capades and now you've never played video games? It doesn't matter so you never played video games, so you play video games with the "Video Prince". Now we are in the Mushroom Kingdom and we have to rescue Princess Toadstool from Bowser, the dastardly king of the koopas. Now you see those things in the our way right there? Those are the Koopa Troopas, the evil minions of Bowser. Somehow we have to get around them. What's that? What's t-Oh no. Oh no. It's a computer virus. It will release all the evil forces stored up in the computer.

Alyssa Milano: Now we know how evil they can be.

Jason Bateman: Who could of done such a dastardly thing?!

King Koopa: King Koopa!

Jason Bateman: King Koopa?

Alyssa Milano: King Koopa? Wait that looks like Mr. [unintelligible].

King Kopa: [unintelligible]. Isn't the company devine.

Alyssa Milano: No!

King Kopa: One little fly in the ointment. One little bug in the code cream cha, and the whole world is mine.

Jason Bateman: Nooo~!

King Kopa: You know something? I don't even want it. I just do it for the checks, with its leger for making trouble. [unintelligible]! Koopa troopas, attack the memories. Hammer Brother, erase the database. Goombas, [unintelligible]. Koopa paratroopa, you [unintelligible] the hard drive. Spiny, do what you want, only do it now. All systems, down!

King Kopa: ♪ I'm a rude [unintelligible]. Mean as I can be. Ha ha! Oh yes. Don't mess around with me. I'm conniving as a [unintelligible]. Tricky as a duck. Oh yes. Ha ha! [unintelligible] as a [unintelligible]. [unintelligible]. I must think big. You will turn your [unintelligible], and [unintelligible] of your god. You can never win tonight. I am [unintelligible]. When it comes to winning [unintelligible], I am number one. I'm a rude [unintelligible]. Mean as I can be. Ha ha! Oh yes. Don't mess around with me. I'm conniving as a [unintelligible]. [unintelligible]. Ha ha! Oh yes. [unintelligible], [unintelligible]! ♪

Princess Toadstool: What to do? What to do? The koopa virus is on the loose, and you know how painful that can be. Oh. Oh. I think this is a job, for plummers. You know I love a man in uniform. I better give a call to the Super Mario Brothers. Oh, Lugi! Oh, Mario!

Luigi: Eh, Mario. Be careful. I see some icey ice down there.

Mario: Yeh, you might make a crash land.

Princess Toadstool: Super Mario Brothers, thank goodness you're here. You got to get rid of King Kopa and and his mean old computer virus.

Mario: Okey dokey, your highness, lady. But we gonna need some help.

Princess Toadstool: Hmm, plumbers helpers? We got em right here.

King Kopa: [unintelligible]. Those bullies, the Mario Brothers! [unintelligible]. Ha ha ha! [unintelligible]. Koopa paratroopa, [unintelligible]. Koopa troopas, to the flooooor! Go get em goomba. Like a goomba [unintelligible]. Hit em hammer. You want to dominate the world you have to do it yourself. Spiny, accompany me. [unintelligible].

Mario: King Kopa, your a chicken. Get yourself a new chicken koopa.

Luigi: With love as a helper, [unintelligible].

[unintelligible song]

Princess Toadstool: Super Mario Brothers, you saved the kingdom. Let me give you each the [unintelligible] plunger for bravery.

Luigi: Thank you your prinessesness. Without his brother.

Mario: I was gonna say that.

Luigi: You were!?

Mario: Yes I was.

Alyssa Milano: Ok! That's it. I win by default.

Jason Bateman: Win? You can't beat the master. There was no game. There was a virus.

Alyssa Milano: Virus Mirus, your just a sore loser. Come on "Video Game Prince".